rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
