Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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