Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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