will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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