STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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