Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
