So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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