Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
