I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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