Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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