you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
