grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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