Please don't use social media to get back at me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
