Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
