I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
