Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
