I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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