This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
