i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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