you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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