dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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