New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.