Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.

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(410): View more from Maryland

He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans

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(256): View more from Alabama

Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.

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(425): View more from Washington

What goes on in that head of yours?

(206): View more from Washington

Gay sex, for the most part. Why?

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.

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(207): View more from Maine

I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?

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