bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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