We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
sex in a hospital.. check
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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