So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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