Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
