I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
how does that bad decision feel?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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