yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
