I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize