please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
