can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
