Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize