You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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