Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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