So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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