dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
