cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
