she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
