I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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