My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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