I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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