all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
