The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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