I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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