areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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