if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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