I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
