He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if only i could text you this smell
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
