Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
