No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
