that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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