you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
