i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
