I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
