where am i from again
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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