Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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