lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
