i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
